Waiting for Spring

I feel like the snow is serving as some sort of insulation for my brain. These storms and all that they have left behind have made me feel muddled and lost in time. Like my life is in a state of suspension. Which, of course, it sort of is, and that may be why the snow is having such a profound effect.

I've lost whatever groove I had. My days are caught up in some strange, sleepy rhythm despite the fact that we plowed ahead (no pun intended) with school throughout the storms. No matter that the public school kids didn't have school for over a week and will be delayed two hours every day this week. That's too bad, I tell my kids. We have a baby coming. We are wasting no time. Plus, quite frankly, they are driving me slightly crazy with their energy and endless chatter. I can't imagine if there weren't any schoolwork to occupy them for hours during the day.

Nevertheless... I've enjoyed the lazy rhythm of these days. Scrabble and yahtzee and hot chocolate and all of that. But I've been trapped inside while everyone else has gone out to play...and now I just feel lost. How do I organize my time? How do I get work done? Can you remind me? Because I feel like I've forgotten. That and all the other practicalities -- paying bills, planning meals, buying groceries...it all just seems to get done by the skin of my teeth. Did there used to be rhyme or reason to this?

In the movie Elf, Will Ferrell refers to himself as a cottonheaded ninnymuggins...and that is just how I feel.

I am a cottonheaded ninnymuggins waiting for Spring. Crocuses and daffodils and this baby. A little more sunshine and even a soft, warm breeze. And then maybe my head will clear.