Yes, for a Change

On Sunday just as we got in the car to leave for church, Son3 said, "Oh, my glasses just broke." Great. He was simply pushing them up, and the arm broke off. Oh well. It was time for new glasses anyway. I asked him about his back-up pair (every 11-year-old boy needs one), and he said, "They're bent and all messed up." Perfect. We found the back-up pair later that day and they were just as he described...and one of the lenses had popped out.

And so he asked for the millionth time whether he could get contacts. He's probably been asking for contacts for two years and we've resisted. He was too young. Contacts can be expensive, and then they become yet another ongoing expense. Just what everyone needs. Then there's the responsibility factor. There's also the issue of his eyes. They have always been sensitive and the source of many freak-outs. “There's a bug in my eye!” “There's dirt in my eye!” Blood curdling screams about the eyes! I figured there was no way he could do it. So we've always said no. But on Sunday, I finally said yes.

We get his vision tested and his glasses at Wal-Mart, so I made the appointment and took him yesterday for the exam. I left the baby with a sitter because I figured the whole process of him learning to put them in and take them out would demand all of my attention. First, we watched a video, and it was then that I began to panic. You have to keep everything so clean! Could he do it? Would he remember all the steps and everything that has to be done? Because I won’t. Not right now. For four days last week I couldn’t even remember that his older brother had lost his toothbrush and needed a new one. Would he be flipping out about his contacts every morning, multiplying the stress of our already stressful lives? I pictured him freaking out and needing help while the baby cried. Ugh. I tried to maintain my equilibrium and tell myself I could do this for him.

After the video, someone came in to teach him how to put them in. He tried and tried. His eyes started to hurt. They got red and irritated and he still couldn't do it. He got frustrated, and he didn't like the idea of how he was going to have to take them out if he ever got them in. He started to say he couldn't do it. The vision tech said the appropriate encouraging things, but I said, "You don't have to do it. It's okay to change your mind. Maybe you're just not ready." He continued to plug away, and then finally said, “I can’t do it.” Again the vision tech tried to encourage him, but I said, “That’s okay, you don’t have to do it. Let’s just get some new glasses.” And he said okay.

Later he said, “My eyes are just really sensitive. I can’t do that.” I said, “I know. That’s why we always said no.” He then asked why I hadn’t told him that and continued to say no, and I explained that he wouldn’t have believed me. Miraculously, he admitted, “You’re right. I wouldn’t have,” and smiled sheepishly.

As a parent you have to say a lot of no’s. At least I do. But recently I’ve had a few experiences like this…where I’ve felt that it’s time to say yes, let them have their way, and in the end they come around to the decision that I was fairly sure was the right one to begin with. And when that happens, it feels a bit like a miracle.